muse

on the fly update

2009-06-07T20:31:00.000-07:00

i'm 22 now. woop?
i work at the library. it's not nearly as glamorous as you think.
i'm currently doing pretty well in school.
i am satisfied with how things are going in terms of my personal life.
for once, i am not incredibly broke - this is extremely satisfying as well.
my family for the most part is healthy and happy.
many of my friends are graduating - bittersweet, but i'm happy for them.
the lakers are currently 2-0 in the finals.
i have my eyes set on the future and i have no real intentions of looking back.

2009-05-12T12:02:00.000-07:00

Honestly, I'm not feeling up-to-date with everything. I'm an inherent procrastinator and this shit is catching up with me, costing me money and time. For some reason, my birth month can either be really dope or shitty. I need to get on the fucking ball.

2009-04-26T22:04:00.000-07:00

We are.

2009-03-20T10:33:00.000-07:00

I always seem to sporadically update whenever I feel appropriate.

Winter 2009 is quickly coming to a close, but not without any sort of personal drama attached to it. Throughout this quarter, I've lost a lot of my focus. Admittedly, I've let a lot of things get the best of me and I've let a lot of things get in the way of my focus and my goals. Constantly re-orienting myself. That's what has been happening a lot to me this past winter of 2009. Finals are rapidly approaching, and I can't help but look towards spring break.

2009-03-15T13:31:00.000-07:00

My bike wishlist:

$400.00 - Mavic Ellipse wheelset
$124.00 - Chris King 1" threadless headset
$100.00 - paint job - Black
$100. 00 - Selle Italia Turbo saddle
$100.00 - Nitto Seat post
$80.00 - Nitto Jaguar Stem
$60.00 - Soma everwear tires (2)
$55.00 - Izumi Super Toughness bike chain
$30.00 - Cinelli Pista drop bars

Overall: $1049

= NOT GONNA HAPPEN ANYTIME SOON

2009-03-03T16:44:00.000-08:00

As good as I am at diffusing awkward situations, I sure as hell hate being involved in them. Especially with people who live right across the streets.

The IE is way too fucking small.

2009-02-21T23:15:00.001-08:00

Sometimes I really do wonder how you've been after all this time.

2009-02-17T16:37:00.001-08:00

I have always been a fan of design.

http://www.designboom.com/weblog/full.php

Share in my obsessions.

2009-02-15T11:13:00.000-08:00

James Dewitt Yancey is most likely my favorite rapper/producer of all time. I'm completely enamored by the simple but complex beats that he produces for this album. "Fourth and Back" is the favorite track of mine off of this album, and for good reason - the beats on this specific track are so raw and complex, but still retain a simple sophistication that only J Dilla can create. I can listen to this on rainy days where I feel like doing nothing but sitting inside. I can even listen to this when I'm driving around in my car and I just feel like chillen. The versatility of this album is just insane.

I haven't listened to the radio in what may seem like months. I find myself listening to the older stuff in my car most of the time, and whenever I do turn on the radio, I'm constantly reminded as to why I stopped listening to it in the first place.

The next three weeks are going to be extremely hectic - littered with standardized tests, midterms, and application deadlines. Truth be told - I am a bit overwhelmed but it's certainly nothing that I can't handle. I need to maintain, stay humble, and stay focused.

2009-02-14T22:44:00.000-08:00

A quick note:

I love it when girls swear. Not excessively, but within reason. I also love it when girls choose to wear black nail polish. Something about that color just gets to me every time I meet a girl that wears it. Probably because I feel like black is the anti-color.

I've been going through a lot of different things lately - personal and otherwise.

Must stay motivated, must keep my head up.

NURSING SCHOOL OR BUST.

2009-02-11T02:01:00.001-08:00

There is a battle going on in my head.

2009-01-25T16:56:00.001-08:00

School is back in full swing for me again and but I still feel like I'm still on winter break. I initially thought that one month could pass quickly, but instead it felt like it lingered on much longer than I'd like. Quizzes, midterms, papers, and other obligations have found their way to the forefront of my consciousness, and the sorts of things that were clouding my mind in the past couple of weeks have seemingly lessened. I hope.

There are two galleries I want to go visit hopefully in the next few weeks:

Martha Cooper “Street Shots” Exhibition
Subliminal Projects
1331 W. Sunset Blvd
Los Angeles, CA 90026.

KAWS
Honor Fraser Gallery
2622 S. La Cienega Blvd.
Los Angeles, CA 90034

Who wants to go with?

2009-01-24T09:13:00.000-08:00

No one can ever make you feel inferior without your consent.

After much deliberation, I've decided to wipe my hands clean of the entire situation.

---

"Love, life life, proceed, progress."

Weezy

2009-01-22T00:44:00.001-08:00

I

AM

NOT

MYSELF

2009-01-21T00:33:00.001-08:00

Play the fucking game.

100th post

2009-01-18T16:41:00.000-08:00

A milestone I suppose.

I don't really have anything momentous to say, except for that I just finished running another 2 miles at 19:23. I'm constantly improving, which is good.

I'm not really sure who reads this, even to this day...

But to those who do - thank you.

2009-01-17T00:42:00.001-08:00

20:09 for two miles. Time is improving. By next week, I should probably be doubling the distance. I've found an unexpected joy in running. I used to hate it. Go figure, I guess...

It hasn't really sunken in as to how difficult this quarter is going to be. I'm trying my best to stay busy and to keep my head focused. I can't lose any momentum. So many things that demand my energy that I cannot afford to have any one distraction take hold over another. Maintaining a balance: easier said than done.

"How many of you are taking more than one science class?"
I raise my hand.
"How many of you are also working and also taking more than one science class?"
I kept my hand up.
"Well, you'd better pick which one you want to fail."

Ouch.

2009-01-15T09:42:00.000-08:00

A particular observation that I've made about myself is that I'm my own worst critic. But then again, I know there are others out there who also are their own harshest critic. Not to say that I don't have skeletons in my closet, but I feel that I'm fairly confident in who I am.

That being said, I hate being a victim of coming up on "damaged goods." As many of you know, I'm a fairly nice person who's also fully capable of being a tremendous asshole.

I wish that some people would just wake the fuck and realize that what happened in the past should stay in the past.

Those seeking to validate their own lives by the actions and opinions of others will most certainly find that such an action will be in vain.

2009-01-14T20:00:00.001-08:00

21:38 - 2 miles

Need to improve...

2009-01-14T02:36:00.000-08:00

IT has certainly been a while since I've felt the pressures of putting myself "out there."

Feelings of vulnerability and struggling to maintain a balance are a daily routine for me lately as it seems.

I've gotta keep both my feet on the ground...

2009-01-09T22:19:00.001-08:00

Disappointed.

2008-12-29T09:06:00.000-08:00

In my own true fashion, I'd like to say Merry belated Christmas to myself.

Living my life in the fast line, I find that there isn't much time to blog about myself. Overall, this winter break has been so great, filled with many adventures and nights that keep me fascinated about what I find myself doing.

Kicking it with the homies has never felt so good and especially guilt free. I'm pleased with myself as a whole and I couldn't feel any happier.

I can't feel complacent though. Gotta stay hungry. Gotta stay moving.

Listen to J Dilla, Mates of State, John Legend.

2008-12-24T11:18:00.000-08:00

I'm pretty happy with this winter break. Christmas eve is today. I got my christmas shopping done.

Word life.

2008-12-04T22:49:00.001-08:00

Admittedly, I'm not a very good blogger. Only when I experience an epiphany, or actually feel like saying something do I actually blog something.

It's already December. I've been so busy with a lot of different things that I hardly had any time to actually enjoy the weather change. Finally, some damn cold so I can actually wear jackets and sweaters.

School is over in a week.

Expect a long rant. Soon.

Happy Thanksgiving

2008-11-27T09:49:00.001-08:00

What are you thankful for?

- My family
- My homies
- Excellent greens
- Being able to cop a grip of jawnzzzz
- Mi trabajo

Happy thanksgiving to whoever reads this.

Suffice to say

2008-11-14T23:46:00.000-08:00

This was a pretty shitty and uneventful day, save that I got some crucial studying done.

News

2008-11-14T07:15:00.000-08:00

My sleep schedule is really messed up for some reason. I sleep really early (9pm) and I wake up at 6-7AM. It makes me really pissed off. I'm not sure why, but when I come home I decide to take a nap and it usually ends up turning into a full-on sleep.

I'm also employed.

Holler at your boy.

Been a little while

2008-11-02T09:21:00.000-08:00

Love is a gamble.

on fire

2008-10-13T22:29:00.001-07:00

I was on the fwy today going to uni, and this was my view from the freeway amidst the traffic:

Shit got really real and I decided to bone out of the freeway by going the opposite direction on the nearest onramp.

I hate the inland empire.

2008-10-03T21:09:00.001-07:00

Feeling mad autumn these days.

Pretty soon it'll be halloween. Then Thanksgiving. Then Christmas.

Where has all of the time gone...

2008-09-25T08:25:00.001-07:00

What ever happened to falling in love with a nigga with a bus pass?

Eddie Griffin

Vegas and Sade

2008-09-19T20:16:00.000-07:00

I came back from Las Vegas for AJ's 21st and Clayton's 21st. Happy birthday fellas.

---

I found this cassette tape today while I was rummaging through old stuff with my dad. My parents loved Sade back in her heyday, and they think it's funny that I love her too. The apple doesn't fall too far from the tree, I guess.

I've registered for classes today. Chemistry, Developmental Psychology, and Microbiology (pending! damnit!) are my list of classes that I'm going to completely dominate starting next Thursday.

Stay concentrated, stay motivated.

Sick

2008-09-09T16:21:00.000-07:00

So I woke up today really early to make money. I wasn't feeling to keen on picture taking at the moment.

I stupidly slept with the window open last night. As a result, I caught some stupid cold. Not a good look since I have lots of shit to pack in between now and school. Vegas trips (2 of them!), wisdom teeth removal, and finally - class registration.

First view after I woke up from an excellent nap.

I stay sippin' on this until I get better. Shiiieeeet son.
Another window shot. Unfortunately, this fails to convey how beautiful and breezy it is right now.

Essentials.

Being sick fucking sucks.

Shirtless

2008-09-07T16:44:00.001-07:00

I've been sleeping shirtless lately. Instead of it getting colder, I swear that it's getting hotter.

Fuck the inland empire. Seriously.

Productivity

2008-09-06T17:57:00.000-07:00

I woke up early today, 8am to be exact. In the course of the day, I can say that I've achieved most of what I needed to be done, and most of what I feel can be done considering that today is Saturday.

It finally hit me this past Thursday that I am no longer a resident of Riverside. I turned in my parking pass, sensor bar, and keys to Sterling. This was the view of my desk at night. I consider myself to be a pretty clean and organized person. You'll see this slowly fall to ruin as soon as finals hit. Unfortunately, I didn't take any pictures. But then again, why would I do that?

A good view of what I saw day-in and day-out for the past year and Sterling. As much as the Sterling management was shitty, I still value the things that I experienced in our apartment - A30Sick.

Thanks for the memories.

I've done my time pt. 1

2008-08-30T09:11:00.000-07:00

I'm officially done at UCR. I have finished my tenure there with my last class being PSYC-002, or in regular terms, Cognitive Psychology. As I listen to Sade's Kiss of Life, I'm immediately brought back to my time at UCR: all of the sleepless nights of studying, the stress of finding classes, meeting new people that would eventually be my lifelong friends, and most of all: finding my own path.

The feeling I have is not something that can be directly put into words. How could I? Likened to a speech by Justin Pansacola, I feel that UCR is a living, breathing entity. The lessons that this hulking beast has taught me were immense. So many that I would take me a whole day to enumerate them one by one. One thing that I can know for sure is that this place, regardless of how terrible some people may say it is, is my home.

As I sit looking upon the apartment that I have to clean out by next Thursday, I'm reminded of my experiences. I'm so thankful for all of my wonderful friends that I've made here. Rex, my roommate of 2 years, is also a special mention. I'll still remember how we approached each other at the end of our 1st year, forced to look for a place to stay. "Hey dude, do you need a place to stay? Do you wanna share a room at Summer Ridge?" And that's how it all started. Rex and I have been through unbelievable amounts of shit to gether, and I wouldn't have it any other way. This is not an ode simply to a single friend, but also to my other friends that I have met here, whether I keep in great contact with you or as time has passed we've drifted into ambiguity as being simply just facebook friends. I want to thank all of you and tell you that you have all made significant impacts in my life by simply being my friends.

Although the bureaucracy is crazy and similar to 1950s socialist Russia, I feel that its rigid system gave me a lot of reality checks in the past 3 years. These reality checks were almost necessary for my growth, as I knew that I wouldn't slide by in college by simply doing the bare minimum. Like all things, we have to give it out 100% in order for it to mean anything.

I've reached my time limit. The clock beckons me to clean.

2008-08-17T00:37:00.001-07:00

2 miles a day for the past 3 days.

Envigorating.

Just like this:

2008-08-15T14:46:00.000-07:00

I ate at home today.

Bacon, eggs, and rice. The quintessential Filipino breakfast. Not very creative, but I don't really care.

Time to hit those books. There is absolutely no way that I am going to fuck up.

2008-08-15T03:44:00.001-07:00

I am praying to be a better man.

2008-08-10T17:05:00.000-07:00

I hate not being good at managing my finances.

2008-08-08T18:17:00.000-07:00

Most of my blogs are of complaints, and this is definitely no different from any blogs prior.

I want to get out of the Inland Empire.
I want to meet new people.
I want to travel way the fuck out of California for a while.

All things in good time I guess.

okay!

2008-08-07T02:28:00.000-07:00

2008-08-03T23:07:00.001-07:00

I've had to say goodbye twice today.

2008-08-03T10:50:00.000-07:00

I prayed for patience today.

2008-08-02T22:38:00.000-07:00

corona del mar is beautiful.

i want to leave the inland empire.

2008-08-01T21:13:00.001-07:00

We are who we are when no one is looking.

2008-07-27T22:54:00.001-07:00

things that are currently doing it for me:

- when girls wedge their lips between their teeth
- black nail polish
- long, brown hair
- award-winning smiles
- big brown eyes
- a sweetly scented neck
- golden brown skin
- beauty + confidence

I need a vacation.

2008-07-26T10:19:00.000-07:00

Badly.

a wandering soul

2008-07-19T08:44:00.000-07:00

There are times where I just want to do nothing but wander.

Wanderlust, I suppose.

My recent obsession is just hanging out at the beach with someone, just vibing out to soulful jazz and 1990s hip-hop.

2008-07-18T10:04:00.001-07:00

LOVE IS A SPORT

sundown

2008-07-13T19:29:00.000-07:00

I have been home to actually see the sun go down in recent weeks. I take it back -- months. I have since been living at home since the end of finals week at UCR. I love it when the sky turns from a pale yellow hue to an intense orange as the sun goes down. I tend to reminisce about my life the most frequently when the sun goes down.

Markedly, it has been such a weird transition from living at an apartment to living back at home. I know that many friends of mine couldn't stand doing this, but I don't have too much of a problem making the switch. This probably has a lot to do with my family.

My family has a strange tendency to be very much united and in-tune with each other, but at the same time, we all acknowledge that we all live very different lives that somehow coincide with one another. This is an interesting dynamic of my family that I value very much.

I have been hanging out with many of my friends lately; for them I am thankful. When I feel my own strength fading, I have such a wonderful amount of friends that I can call at the most ungodly hours for them to help me out with almost anything.

I'm finding that I am bored more and more during the days. I feel like I am walking the right path, but most certainly is a boring path.

I wish that something would save me from the ordinary. One can only take so much.

water, tubig, agua

2008-07-09T15:45:00.000-07:00

I drink water entirely way too much. I constantly collect a pile of bottles atop my desk every day. This pile has only been in existence for the past hour. I'm worried that I may get some electrolyte imbalance. I need to cut down on water and need to re-up on more juices. Yeah, juices...

Gas prices kill

2008-07-08T17:05:00.000-07:00

The price of gas has severely affected personal relationships (my own, especially), these past few months. I hate it. With gas being $4.59/gal in my area, going anywhere requires that the drive must be of absolute importance, or at least something worthwhile enough to spend that much cash.

I am finding a strange sense of satisfaction by listening to cool-down hip hop. I've been just vibing out to this album for a while. This album is just so buttery when you listen to it. All of that pent up stress just melts away.

Courtesy of Alife.

Days that end.

2008-07-07T10:30:00.001-07:00

We are all part of a greater whole.

The sickness of the slacker

2008-07-03T17:30:00.000-07:00

I went to the doctors today, and he diagnosed me with acute tonsillitis. As you know, this hurts really bad.

"How bad is the pain, on a scale of one to ten?", the nurse Asks. "Eleven," I respond.

I hope this gets better in ~3 days.

---

Anyway, here are some pictures from summer so far.

Domo-Kun at Urban Outfitters

Some stupid club-rat's car in LA

The Boiling Crab. This shit is so good you have no idea.

Matt and Kim - -Free admission -- Free Beer -- Fucking awesome.

Fuck

2008-06-30T10:05:00.000-07:00

Nice guys finish fucking last. I'm not sure why, but being (too much) of an asshole just isn't coded into my DNA.

Interactions, interactions, interactions. LJBF bullshit.

I swear that I was born in the wrong era. I'm sure that I belong to the 1950s when being a gentleman actually meant something.

I'm fully aware that this may seem to a lot of you like an angst-filled rant, but it's something that definitely bothers me.

Isn't this what blogging was made for anyway? To write about shit that bothers you?

I digress.

Don't even front kid.

2008-06-27T20:00:00.000-07:00

I miss it.

I really should update this.

2008-06-22T10:51:00.000-07:00

Like everything in life, so many things have changed in mine.

I really should update this more.

I will, when I have the time or I actually feel like jotting down my thoughts.

But for now, I'm cool with keeping shit to myself. For now, at least...

21 years of nothing special

2008-05-27T15:21:00.001-07:00

Happy birthday to me.

I'm still alive

2008-05-26T22:45:00.001-07:00

But barely.

So much has changed.

I'm 21 in about an hour and fifteen minutes.

Welcome back.

I feel like dying

2008-04-25T01:15:00.001-07:00

I hate the fact that when I go through problems, I tend to spend a lot more than normal.

I think that these binges are the things responsible for my lack of money when I actually need it.

Fuck everything.

rewind

2008-04-05T06:49:00.000-07:00

I realize that it's been a while since I've blogged, but I feel like I just haven't had time.

Spring break had come and gone so quickly, but it was dope.

Here's the highlight of us in front of Caesar's Palace... not quite buzzed yet.

---

Spring quarter 2008 has started. Starting next fall, I'm a 4th year in college. Where the hell has all the time gone? I'm a bit behind, but in the grand scheme of things, I can't focus on that. I just have to keep moving.

PHYS2A
PHYS2LA
CHEM-112B
BIOL-5C

The race is long; but in the end, it's only with yourself.

See you later.

Satisfied or complacent?

2008-03-05T22:11:00.000-08:00

My boy Paul in my Ochem labs has been hooking it up with the good grades.

That stupid bitch in my Bio lab was kinda cool today; I got an okay quiz score and I did decent on my midterm.

I got my bike fixed from the bionic men + the old guru at Anthony's cycles in Riverside. Those guys are a bit sketchy but they fixed my bike on the cheap ($17.12). I really need to search for a new rear wheel set.

My Samurai S5000BK's are coming in nice as hell. I'm pleased with the progress.

I really should bring my camera around more, but I hate bringing that shit around in the first place.

Worse than a hangover

2008-03-02T11:29:00.000-08:00

Is knowing that you have a midterm tomorrow. A fucking hard midterm.

No fuck that. I'll be fine. I just need to concentrate... that's all.

---

It seems like I have less on my plate, but it's not being reflected at all in my performance. This is so frustrating. I feel like there are still things holding me back from my full potential. It's time again to cut the fat.

My body has been feeling terrible lately. I've been ingesting about 8 fluid oz of caffeine beverages a day (about 236 mL). I'm sure that I've developed some type of immunity or something, since Monsters and Starbucks loaded with extra shots of espresso don't do anything to me anymore.

God help me get through this week.

Spring break

2008-02-26T21:40:00.000-08:00

I cannot wait for this quarter to be over.

Spring break will definitely be the tits.

I hate TA's that grade too hard. Fuck you.

2008-02-22T15:01:00.000-08:00

FUCK
ORGANIC CHEMISTRY

Intense

2008-02-20T02:13:00.000-08:00

2:14 AM. I've been going at this whole studying thing since 7PM.

Damn.

In the midst of all of my studying, I somehow come to thinking of my parents. Living away from home in the past 2.5 years has really affected our relationship. In some ways, we have gotten much closer, but in more ways have we drifted apart. This really worries me in that as the years go by, I'll have less time to fully understand my parents. To truly understand them and for them to truly understand me are goals that I eventually set out to achieve. Knowing this, I realize that this won't be achieved in mere weeks; this type of thing will take our whole lives.

I miss being a kid. I miss when life was simple. The immortality of youth... you never know what you've got until it's gone.

Happenings

2008-02-18T09:30:00.000-08:00

Happy 21st bithday, Sean. It was dope.

I've got a lot of shit coming up in the next few weeks (midterms, spring break planning, etc.)

I need new music. I've been getting slowly back into rock and hip hop from the late 90s, but now I'm slowly getting back into trance and big beat.

Out of touch... but out of sight. Out of sight, out of mind, right? Wrong.

10:24AM

2008-02-12T10:23:00.000-08:00

Sleeping with the windows open reminds me of spring. Crazy nostalgia is waking up and forgetting how old you are. I certainly miss feeling young and not giving a shit about anything but what's going to be happening later in the day. Now, it's all about deadlines. Meeting people. Working. All of this shit has been piling up lately.

I really want spring and summer to pass so winter can come again.

Riverside springs and summers suck ass.

No more negativity!

Lent

2008-02-08T19:43:00.000-08:00

I gave up looking at ISS/buying shoes for the Lent season. Let's see how far this goes.

2008-02-08T09:23:00.001-08:00

What to name her...

Time

2008-01-27T00:54:00.000-08:00

It's been roughly two weeks since I've last posted. It's 12:54 AM and I'm reading these organic chemistry notes. I'm panicking because I don't know what the fuck is going on.

I am staring so hard trying to make sense of these numbers, figures, and graphs. NMR, IR spec, Pi bonds, holy SHIT.

I always complain that there aren't enough hours in the day, but I know that this is bullshit.

I know that I need to make time for myself. I need to concentrate, but I am instead writing this.

On a happier note, I've been eating relatively better. The rain is pouring in Riverside and I absolutely love it. For all of you people complaining about the rain, SHUT UP. Once the rain is gone, all we'll ever see is the sun until next November or December. Suck it up and ENJOY IT.

My bike is a mess. I'm currently on the search for a decent road bike. Crossing my fingers. Finding a decent setup is so hard to find.

My blogs are always scatterbrained and unorganized. I apologize... not really.

Good night.

Heartburn

2008-01-12T13:38:00.000-08:00

Yo I did really well last quarter.

Yo I'm about to do really well again this quarter.

Work. School. Life.

I've developed heartburn. Man this shit hurts.

2008

2008-01-01T00:40:00.000-08:00

Happy New Years!

2007 wasn't really heaven
but let's make 2008
really really great

Seriously... last year had a lot of ups and downs. This, however, is a story for another time.

Good night everyone. Take care and let's make 2008 great!

Merry Christmas

2007-12-24T22:29:00.000-08:00

I have this pet peeve during Christmas time where people replace "Christmas" with "X-Mas" or "Happy Holidays". It really gets to me. I understand the whole "trying to be politically correct" thing, but it still bugs me a lot. Oh well.

Merry Christmas (NOT X-Mas, HAPPY HOLIDAYS) or Kwanza or Hannukah. Or what have you.

YO winter break

2007-12-16T18:09:00.000-08:00

It's been almost a month since I've last posted, and now I'm on winter break. Right now, I'm in Las Vegas with my parents and my uncle. I spent the past few days with Eudora. Needless to say, I'm glad I did. We really needed it.

Fall 2007 has just passed and I'm fairly satisfied with the progress I've made. Throughout these past months, I've been grappling with a variety of career options. These past few months have been one of the most defining in my life. Up until now, I don't think I've taken serious consideration as to how I would want my life to unfold; suffice to say, I admit that I've been drifting. This has all changed, however. Though I feel that things have gotten a lot clearer, I need to still make preparations to fully realize my path and to follow it through. Another thing is the realization of my own progress. I have realized that I may or may not be on-track with my friends, but I can't let this hinder me. I will progress at my own pace. Natasha said that "It doesn't matter how long it takes to get there, so long as you get there." I'm fully determined to get there, when it is my time and at my own pace.

As I sit in this chair in my hotel room, I slowly recline my head and type without looking at the screen. Blah blah blah. I'm actually bored. Thank GOD to winter break that I can actually say this! Tilting my head forward again... I feel thoroughly relieved.

To my immediate right, I notice my hardworking father. He rarely does anything outside of housework and/or work at the hospital. This is a wonderful change to see him unwind by having a Corona and hot cheetos while watching the Redskins versus Giants game. To all that know my father, this is extremely out of character for him, aside from his brusque personality that is typified at my house.

In the neighboring room, I notice my equally hardworking mother. She's curled up on the vanity chair, watching Enough with Jennifer Lopez. My mom said to me "Anak, patingin nang puet ni J. Lo. Ang laki, no?" For the non-Tagalog speakers, my mom told me "Look at J.Lo's butt. It's huge isn't it?" Like my dad, my mom rarely does anything to this effect, as she's always relaxing after a hard day's work, or cooking food for my family.

My uncle is gambling at the Hilton.

Right now, I'm relaxed. I wonder what we're going to do next? I'm a bit hungry. I think we're going to hit up some crazy buffet for dinner tonight. Woo hoo :)

Bye!

2007-11-27T07:48:00.000-08:00

RIP Concepción Peñas Bonto (1926 - 2007)

You'll always be in my heart, lola.

Talking to you live

2007-11-21T23:44:00.000-08:00

Things have gone by like a crazy blur. Four day weekend, but work on Sunday. Shit!

Anyway... taken from sufu. I need to learn/perform/master all of these things. Immediately.

1) basic wilderness and emergency survival skills
2) basic first aid
3) fighting
4) self-defense
5) speak english, spanish, french, german, arabic, mandarin and japanese. italian or portuguese is extra credit.
6) play and perform a musical instrument
7) know how to dance the major ballroom and latin dancing styles.
8) know how to swim and tread water
9) know worldwide current events
10) know world history
11) know how to cook
12) know how to sew
13) know tactical driving
14) high level of physical fitness
15) know how to sail
16) know how to use firearms
17) know domestic construction and repair techniques
18) know basic electrical theory
19) know basic accounting, economics, investing and how financial markets work
20) street smarts - know how scams, hustles, and juxes work.
21) know how to repair and maintain a car (change oil, change tires, change brakes, etc.)
22) know how to ride a motorcycle
23) know how to hotwire a car
24) know the basic concepts behind the major religions of the world
25) know how to gamble
26) know how to kick game to a girl
27) know how to be an incredible lover
28) know how to ski or snowboard
29) know how to give a very good massage
30) know how to meditate
31) play decent chess
32) play decent pool
33) know how to skateboard
34) being able to sing well
35) being able to mix popular drinks and cocktails
36) understanding of human psychology for use in coercion and negotiation
37) know how to use a camera and basic photographic composition
38) know how to drink heavily while keeping control over yourself
39) know how to draw, portraiture and still life.
40) how to pick a lock
41) how to pick a pocket
42) how to drive a stick shift

It's good to have goals.

So much for updating this semi-daily

2007-11-15T10:38:00.000-08:00

Got to spend our anniversary with Eudora.

Watched Rilo Kiley together :)

More pics and other cool shit later.

Memories and tangible victories.

2007-11-09T22:44:00.000-08:00

---

So it was Rex's birthday. Joe's Sushi was pretty cool, but it was a bit too hectic. I saw too many of the ahjummah's (older Korean women; usually moms and older women) stressing out. I could tell that they couldn't speak English and couldn't handle the intense barking of the white people that were getting drunk a few tables down. Regardless, I still had a good time :)

I'm back home. As I was packing to leave, I really had an urge to leave Riverside. I'm not sure why, but I just felt like I wanted to get out of the city itself. I still stick to the fact that I love being at home. I think that it just goes to show that I can't stay in a place for too long. Ironically, I still have issues of dependence and attachment... but that another story for another time.

I've been getting a lot of my stuff done lately... doing fairly well in 2 out of my 3 classes. I have a midterm coming up that I am going to seriously own. I also started my way on Nursing pre-reqs at RCC. For now... it feels like my life is slowly starting to fall into order. I am trying my best to give my life a set structure and I'm definitely setting my goals and achieving them. I love tangible victories.

I also love 3 day weekends :) Happy Veteran's day.

Life goes fast.

2007-11-07T17:01:00.001-08:00

2007-11-01T19:32:00.000-07:00

I'm alive.

I haven't been around... I know.

Don't worry about it.

Yes

2007-10-28T21:58:00.001-07:00

flyinretro73: yea
flyinretro73: shoes over anything for me
flyinretro73: i could be naked
flyinretro73: as long as i have shoes i like

More coming.

Frequency or infrequency?

2007-10-20T20:49:00.000-07:00

It's been a minute since I've said something meaningful.

Jeramie's birthday passed fairly recently (October 14). Happy birthday bro.

So to celebrate, my family (and Jeramie's friends) went nuts on a cruise ship to Mexico.

Overall the cruise was fun and relaxing as hell. Sure could use another one. Anyone down for a cruise during Spring Break? Holler.

---

Life has been having its crazy ups and downs lately.

I've come to the point where I am still in pursuit of a higher education, but I'm split into two different directions at the same time. Medicine has always been a passion, but I'm not so sure anymore. Nursing has been more of a viable option. I really need to get my ass in gear before it's too late (or I get too old!).

While I was waiting for my car to be serviced, an old friend of my mom came by and dropped some wisdom on me. "If you can't feed your own mouth, then how do you expect to feed the mouth of others?" So damn true. Even more reason to start making tangible progress.

---

I am officially in a relationship again.

We're together and better than ever. Don't be jealous.

---

Until next time.

P.S. -- Who actually reads this? I'm curious. LEAVE A COMMENT :)

2007-10-17T19:15:00.001-07:00

OH MY GOD.

JIMMY EAT WORLD. NEW ALBUM. "CHASE THIS LIGHT".

GET IT. NOW.

2007-10-12T10:02:00.000-07:00

This kind of shit grips me every day (for periods of time) in recent memory.

Did pretty well on that exam. It was to be expected.

Came home and made some chicken. Didn't fucking finish it.

The kind of paranoia I've been experiencing stops me from eating. The kind that hits you in the middle of a fucking meal and it makes you so sick, so nervous, and so angry that it completely throws your appetite out of the fucking window. Instead of being hungry, I feel like I want to vomit.

Being physically impaired is already bad, but mental detachment is something completely different. Traditionally, paranoia is described as the condition of being worried about something --almost obsessively. My version of paranoia can barely be ascribed to the traditional meaning, but instead can be classified as something completely different.

This is some next level paranoia.

To be stated simply:

I have nothing to hide. Do you?

2007-10-10T21:31:00.001-07:00

I can't live with or without you.

2007-10-10T00:32:00.000-07:00

Get me out of here...

Home

2007-10-06T16:57:00.000-07:00

Listening to: Atmosphere - Sunshine

I love being at home. It's not like I dislike my apartment, but I love being at home. Being at home at family is something I never really appreciated until recently.

My parents have gone to the Pacquiao fight. Would've gone, but tickets are a grip and my parents could only get 2 :( Oh well.

As I'm waiting for my laundry to complete, I was thinking of things that I want to do in the near future when I have time. Here they are, in no particular order:

- Go to a batting cage with friends
- Go to the driving range
- Go to the shooting range
- Visit the Santa Monica Pier

There are a lot more, but I can't seem to recall them right now.

The laundry signal has just gone off.

See you in a few.

I am alive.

2007-10-04T07:34:00.000-07:00

Yes.

Keep your head up.

2007-09-30T19:21:00.000-07:00

Remember why you are here...

2007-09-30T14:20:00.001-07:00

First Impressions

2007-09-26T18:24:00.000-07:00

So I've just arrived and I'm almost completely unpacked. So far... no real problems have arisen. Thank God. Pictures of the new place will follow. And so it begins...

WHOA

2007-09-26T01:34:00.000-07:00

MY mind is so fucked. Hot fucking damn.

Frustration

2007-09-24T14:17:00.001-07:00

There has to be so much more than this.

Early

2007-09-22T08:03:00.001-07:00

I imagine that NY is akin to Manila in a lot more ways than LA is.

Leftover Hawaiian BBQ awaits...

Night

2007-09-21T21:12:00.000-07:00

Listening to: Everclear - Wonderful

---

I start school in about six days. Anxiousness and apprehensiveness are the very least of the adjectives I could use to describe how I feel.

My perspective on a lot of things has radically changed in the past few months; for this I'm glad.

I can't remember what my dreams are... no matter how much I try. I think back to my days of high school; there was a particular SAT verbal teacher named Vince who would extend his knowledge of English beyond the doldrums. He once told us (as an extreme tangent to Harriet Tubman) that recording your dreams was one of the major steps to lucid dreaming. Slowly but surely, I'll get this.

I had a great day today. The weather was forecasted to be rainy and miserable, but today was quite the contrary on a variety of levels. Hanging out with Eudora and Yukari was really fun and unexpected, just as the weather was.

I need to take more pictures, no?

I yearn for much more than this.

2007-09-19T18:12:00.000-07:00

The beaches in Boracay are truly unlike any other beach. The unspoiled beauty is something that one has to truly witness to believe. I wish to return here in the near future, with my family and more of my friends.

Our view from our condo in Greenhills. Since I've returned, I really have noticed how quiet it is in the suburbs of Upland, about an hour away from Los Angeles, the big city. I miss the hectic tantrum of the city when I woke up each morning. The screams of "Taho!", Yes sir, mams", and the never-ending struggle of finding a cab when you really need one. These are the sorts of things that many, especially my brother, would find chaotic. I found a strange sense of peace in all of the chaos that is Manila. The bustling metropolis of Manila is a startling world of constrasts: rich and poor, foreign and domestic, and especially poor and old. The mark of Spanish colonialism is ubiquitously present, and it lends greatly to the splendor and unique vibe that is Manila.

I miss my family. I have only a few immediate cousins in the United States, which probably lends to my increased yearning to see my family again in the Philippines. San Ramon, Bicol, where my family's side is from, is rural in the extreme sense; but this sort of rural living is not without its charm. During our stay, we were extremely fortunate to witness the provincial fiesta. The fiesta itself was cut fairly short, however, when the music was turned too loud and caused a power overload, causing most of the province to not have electricity. This didn't stop anyone, as many just went back into their houses and brought out candles. The fiesta still went on, even in complete darkness.

---

Suffice to say, I miss the Philippines. A lot. I'm not sure when I'll get over it, but I'm sure that it'll come when I'm too busy with school. For the mean time however, this will be one of the main themes that pops up in my head when I'm just sitting at home without anything to do :)

Transform

2007-09-18T11:29:00.001-07:00

In between phases; awkward transition.

Keep going...

CELEBRATION!

2007-09-17T08:11:00.000-07:00

I am finally back to a normal sleep schedule. Thank God.